This was sent to me today the answers were provided by someone else...enjoy

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out of them?" some one who was thirsty
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it's butt." same person that looked at the bow only this time they were hungry
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? that's a trade secret
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? my freezer does, but most people use the fridge more hence the need
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? one word, boredom
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? as long as they have at least 2 people in the car
7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? if you were him you would do whatever possible to be on a remote location w/ginger and mary-ann
8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? they don't, ooh that's something I gotta stop doing
9. Why does your Doctor leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to see you without clothes anyway? so they can watch from behind the 2 way mirror
10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! because pluto is mickey's dog and goofy is his dawg
11. If Wile E Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap why didn't he just buy dinner? its the principle of the matter, you could always go buy your own food, but how often could you catch a road runner?
12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? testic...hey that's funny
13. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? no, there are 3 more disneyland resort, disneyland paris resort, disney land tokyo resort, and in the near future disneyland hong kong
14. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? never noticed that before, doh!
15. Stop singing and read on............ twinkle, twinkle, l-m-n-o-p, like a diamond in the sky,
16. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? only if its campbell's, because its mmm-mmm good
17. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? the dog gets mad because your breath stinks, and who does not enjoy the feeling over having the wind blow in your face while sitting still.
18. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? no, but it gives you something to do while you wait
19. Do you ever wonder why you ever gave me your e-mail address in the first place? yup